You hear this all the time. You hear that people on their death beds just wished for a little more time. Vacations go to fast, weekends fly by, time simply moves too quickly. I find myself constantly wishing I had more time. More time on the weekends with my fiance before he goes back to Milwaukee for the week. More time with my family when we’re finally able to get together. More time to read. More time to write. More time to sit around and relax.
But here’s the thing I’ve noticed. Nobody is ever satisfied with the time given to them. I could go visit family for 3 weeks and spend the entire time with just my grandmother and I truly doubt at the end of it she would say, “that was plenty of time, I’m okay with you leaving now.” There truly isn’t enough time when it comes to being with the ones you love. But, when you spend so much energy and time fixating on that fact, you’re wasting actual time you could be spending with them.
I’m a stresser. Most of my interactions and thoughts are laced with stress. So, when I head home for a family weekend, I go into overdrive. How do I get enough time with everyone? How do I make everyone feel like they got enough time? I spend the whole time a giant ball of anxiety running from place to place, trying to have meaningful conversations with everyone, trying to make everyone feel special and loved. By the time the weekend is over, I’m exhausted and realize that I spent so much time trying to squeeze everyone in that I forgot to enjoy them.
This, clearly, is not the way to live life. And I’d like to say that the next time I’m at a big family gathering, I’ll lighten up a bit and just enjoy the time that I get. Though I have to admit, I feel those twinges of stress just thinking about it.