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“I don’t like the word nipple”

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Why hello loyal readers who I’m sure have been missing me terribly during this blogging hiatus. I do apologize for taking such a long blogging break, though I do want to remind you that I warned you in my “about me”- this would not be a regularly updated blog. That aside, here’s an update on a bachelorette weekend full of nipple talk, penis straws and male strippers (On the big screen only).

I had my bachelorette weekend two weeks ago (has it really been that long already?!)in NYC  and it couldn’t have been more perfect. I gotta be honest, I’m really digging this trend of doing bachelorette/bachelor weekends. Why just have a party when you can have a whole weekend??

Me and my lovely bridesmaids managed to accomplish a significant amount of pre-wedding work before all the booze really kicked in (note: avoid having a long-distance wedding if at all possible). We met with my florist, did my hair trial, picked my reception menu and chose a wedding cake all on the first day.

I’d show you the front, but it fell out way too quickly

Think white- not cream, and remove the green mold-like substance

Once the obligations were out of the way, it was time to drink! We had a teal cocktail tasting party in order to choose a teal signature cocktail. We ended up going with an original creation so a name is needed. My sister is desperately attempting to name it the eel, but I refuse to serve something that conjures gross, slimy images at my wedding. So who’s got a better name?

Once we hit a suger high from all the teal drinks (I think there was more sugar than alcohol), we made a last minute decision to see Magic Mike. The fact that it came out my bachelorette weekend just felt like a sign of good things to come and we knew it was a MUST see. So after a mad scramble of car chases, people swapping in parking lots and mom leaving the car with the key, we managed to make it to the theater just in time to hear Matthew McConaughey’s opening speech. Which honestly might have been the best part of the movie. Did anyone else feel that there was way too much bad plot and far too little male stripping? I mean, this beaut was barely in the movie! (thanks to Deb for the image!)

Seriously- deserved a much bigger role

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m no wild child. I wanted absolutely nothing to do with the real thing come bachelorette weekend. My girls were given specific instructions to keep all half-naked men and lap dance potentials away from me. But, for the movie, I was really just looking for entertaining dance numbers, not a guy trying to find his way in life.

Saturday was full of Bridal Shower fun thanks to some entertaining games provided by the maid of honor and unlimited belinis, After the shower, there was another mad scramble to pack and get on the train to the city. Once we hit the train we busted out the newly received Nalgene bottles (Thanks Grams!) and proceeded to mix drinks. Sensing a theme here yet? How 5 girls managed to get ready in one hotel room in 4o minutes is beyond me, but we did and then headed to Lucky Cheng’s for dinner and a show. I hate to admit, this was not my favorite part of the evening. While it was entertaining at times, I was petrified of being dragged onstage and asked to do something vulgar and uncomfortable. I would definitely go back, but without the veil and sash that screamed “harass me!”

Lucky Cheng’s was followed by my new favorite bar, Joshua Tree. All 80’s dance music with the videos! We ran into a bachelor party who were happy to partake in our bachelorette challenge cards:

  • -Find a guy to serenade you with madonna while you dance
  • -Get a condom from a stranger (Side note- this was not completed because no one had one and that is highly disturbing)
  • -Get a guy to buy you a drink (harder than you would think since everyone had already bought me a drink)
  • -Beer goggles: Kiss someone you wouldn’t normally kiss.

You can imagine what the bar was like with guys and gals running around trying to complete different challenges all while drinking out of penis straws. Yes, the bachelor himself requested one of our straws and used it all night.

Overall, it was a fab weekend.

Thanks to my girls for the amazing accessories



About Jaclyn

I’m a digital copywriter at an advertising agency- think Peggy from Mad Men but remove the print ads and add a website. Between my family, friends and job I hear a lot of interesting things. I’ve decided to share them and how they inspire me on this blog. There’s no theme or goal in mind and I promise I will not update with any kind of regularity. But hopefully whatever I do put up here will be entertaining, or entertaining enough to add to the “procrastinating at work by checking every mediocre website on the internet” list.

One response »

  1. I had the “get a condom from a stranger” on my list as well. I finally found someone but the disturbing part was that it expired 2 years ago. Skeeeetchy.


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